Just when you think things are taking a turn in the right direction and you can finally breathe just a little bit, the universe has a way of reminding you that you are not in charge. Having just returned from a true vacation, with relaxation, no hotel workouts,no runs, just walks on the beach, swimming and golf, life was pretty good.
The last weekend in April I ran the Portsmouth Half Marathon, the race I had been training for. I needed another month. I was ready for 10 miles, not 13.1, and ended up aggravating my ITB. But I felt good about my effort and knew I still had 6 weeks before my race up the BIG HILL-Mt. Washington. I felt confident my injury would heal and I would be okay.
Two days after my half marathon my employer of the last 5 and half years decided I was dispensable, as in, my services were no longer needed. My position was eliminated effective immediately, as in, pack your things now or we can ship them to you.
What just happened?
For the first time in 25 years I was unemployed with no place to go each day, nothing to think about, no purpose, no projects, no problems. You might think this is a good thing, but it is not a good feeling to feel as if you have no purpose and your work is not valued. Even worse, when your position is eliminated but your projects live on sends the message your work is valuable but you are not. Try to feel good about yourself now!
In addition to the suckiness of having no job, I also had no income, no retirement, no insurance. I applied for unemployment compensation which is a full time job in and of itself, only to be told I had to re-apply in July. Ironically, the gym I just joined was close to where I used to work, not so close to home. I could no longer afford to go twice a week. And then I found myself wandering around my house going from room to room sitting. I was sitting, a lot. I wasn’t able to run, and I was not going to the gym because I didn’t want to use all that gasoline.
And now it has been a month and we are heading into June. I still have no job, I still have a cranky IT Band, but I ran a 10K trail race this weekend anyways because I needed to have fun! I will get back to the gym more often after my run up the BIG HILL in a couple weeks. I am sleeping well and eating well and trying to keep my spirits up and remember all the good things I have learned over the last 5 years. When the bottom falls out you have two choices, you can leave everything all over the ground or you can start picking things up, one at a time, and try to salvage what you can.
What are the things worth saving?