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I don’t have time for this

I have spent the last week searching for strength and conditioning information, feeling like I am looking for a needle in a haystack. It is easy to find information on strength and conditioning for women, for runners, for sport specific activities, certifications, etc., but not so easy to find a person. It is easy to find articles about what to do and what not to do, but not so easy to understand what the heck they are talking about. It all makes sense to me, but I have no idea how to translate that into actual training sessions at the gym.

My husband is sweet, he said to me, “Why don’t you just continue to do what you have been doing all along?” Which is a great idea, if only I had written things down, if only I had paid more close attention.I can probably take some time to think things through and generate a list: deadlifts, squats, benchpresses,  Kettle Bell complexes and swings, Dumbbell complexes, core stability activites, and such, but I have no idea what to start with for weight; I have no idea how many reps, or sets, or how much is too much.

“You can be your own trainer,” say all of my friends and well meaning relatives. “I will build you a gym in the basement!” says my husband, who totally would do that for me. All well intentioned and good advice, but there is a missing piece.  After nearly 170 hours in the gym with someone by my side who is trained to know what to look for when I start to fatigue or when my form is not correct, I am hesitant to tromp off to any gym by myself, even my own basement gym.

 I don’t have time for this.

I do not have the time to research and calculate and think about things I do not know about. I don’t have time to search for a new personal trainer. I don’t have time to make appointments, meet with people, and then go back and do more research to check on qualifications, education, philosophy and recommendations.

I don’t have time for this.

So two training sessions per week with a personal running coach for the last 2 and a half years no longer exist in my world.

I knew this day would come, but in my mind it played out differently; in my mind it was a conversation, an assessment or report, a recommendation of possible successors. In my mind it was recognition of goals accomplished, and dreams fulfilled, and a hand shake. In my mind there was an expression of gratitude for hanging tough through good times and rough times. Clearly I am an idealist.

I want to have a positive attitude, but I doubt I will find what I am looking for. Perhaps my expectations are too high and unrealistic. I am not sure where this new road will take me, but when the bridge blows up there is no choice but to turn and go the other way.

I don’t have time for this.

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